Stressessee

For the first time in a long time I create a post.

I recently had to travel to Tennessee for a culinary externship. In the past I would love the travel, the drive across the country but recently I didn’t look forward to it. I just knew I had to do it and what should have been a 12 hour drive turned out to be an 18 hour drive. Let me tell you why.

Stress response. How my body reacts to stress now rather than how it did in the past. Before when I would be in a moment of excitement it would be a good rush of hormones.

Well, I want to write about how it affected me in the past, but it isn’t how its been affecting me recently. Stress has gone back to its regularly scheduled program. For the most part at least. I know there are still times when it wants to win over me but I have been able to bring it down. To target and find out where this is all coming from and how I can deal with it now. And I am dealing.

With everything from my health and heart condition to everything that is happening around me. Usually when I would have a heart thing I would go into a panic mode because I thought that it was a serious problem. Increasing my stress and stress hormones. Now when I get my heart PVC or PAC I am able to understand that it is a minor inconvenience that is going away. That as I work every day I am able to make my heart stronger and stronger and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for this condition. Like I have in the past, the heart PAC and PVC’s will subside and go away.

I will keep working on my physical health so that my health can keep up with my lifestyle. I want to be able to eat and I want to be able to go out for a hike, or a run. I need to condition it all back to equilibrium and I will

This is more like a rant again, but I am strong. The mind is our friend that we can work in concert together.

Let this symphony ring!

My Peru Trip 2009

Original Post: 14AUG2018

This was the first trip that I went on as an adult that wasn’t to Orlando or Tampa. By this point I have never traveled outside of Florida let alone past the Daytona line. During this time I had anxiety. I wasn’t really sure what was triggering it. What I did know was I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. Be it my health or what I was doing with my life, something was bothering me enough to translate into a anxious state of being. This came out in full force when I was at the airport with my mom and my sister and I couldn’t stop shaking before the plane took off. I didn’t know what I was scared of but I just didn’t feel right. Once the plane took off I was able to calm down, just enough.

When people talk about traveling it is usually pleasant and nice but for me it that wasn’t the case. At least not in the beginning. Later on did it I finally start to enjoy every part of the trip. From the Castle that we went to visit, the beaches and the bungalows, and the city of Lima. It all turned out pretty amazing. It showed me that there was a lot more world left for me to visit.

I remember we spent a lot of time with my aunts and it was all really fun to see how they lived their day to day. Just to see some life different from my own. I took the opportunity to take photographs with my film camera. I can remember most of the trip even though it has been almost 10 years since I wet. I remember the room where I stayed in, it was closet where the live-in-housekeeper usually stayed and it was different from what I knew and I found it interesting. It was small, hot during the day and cold at night. It was different from the usual AC life that I was used to. My aunt would make us fresh juice and cook us great food. I can’t forget that. We also wen’t to a lot of places to eat.

One instance where anxiety hit me was when I stayed behind while they went shopping or to run some errands. I had one of the first panic attacks I have ever felt. It felt like I was going to die right then and there and I didn’t know why. I wasn’t at my healthiest I know that for sure and when my body reacted I felt swayed by it internally. Like I would feel my heart rate elevate or my blood pressure elevate and it was a feeling that I was hyper aware of. I thought they were symptoms of my health being ready to take me to the other side. But it didn’t. I didn’t go anywhere, I just lived with that struggle internally. I didn’t tell my mom about it at the time, she just recognized that I wasn’t at my healthiest either and she made an effort to help me with that when we got back to see a physician. Which is story in on itself for another time.

Back to the nice part of the trip.

We went to the beach area called Chorrillos and I loved it there. I took quite a few pictures. It was all new to me and I found the scenery fascinating. Especially the few pictures I am sharing now.

We went to another beach spot soon after that was a resort dedicated to the Peruvian Military including family members. Club Esmar Fuerza Aerea del Peru (it took me along time to find and remember this place from a memory almost 10 years ago) I remember getting to the beach bungalow and laying down on the bed. I don’t remember if it was night time or the evening but I passed out completely and fully on the little bed in the room. I remember waking up to the ocean breaking on the shore.

I finally felt relaxed. All my tensions seemed to have melted away at this place. With good reason. There was no noise or chatter in my brain, just peace and the sounds outside of me. The sights as well took my mind off some of it. Just take a look at these photos.

This place definitely returned peace to me. It was incredible. It was really fun to shoot film as well. I think at this time I was stagnant on my creative avenues and this was a kickstart.

We also visited Ica, Peru and on the way we stopped by Huacachina. An amazing Oasis that I would love to visit some time again with some more time. I would like to spend some time there with the other backpackers and travelers. We did the dune buggies and the sand boards down the dunes but don’t have any pictures of that time though. I must have known better that the sand was going to ruin my camera.

We made it back to Lima to hang out with my cousin Sylvanna. She drove us to Miraflores where we had dinner. Here are some of the pictures I got from that day.

This trip would have been nothing with out my family. Every member from Peru which made the trip possible from so many different areas. My sister who was there to enjoy the trip as well (We’re going to go back sis, I promise). My mother who was there for me when I was anxious. The woman who will always be there for me regardless of my situation.

Nasha Kleimann, my beautiful mother, the strongest woman I know.

I no longer had the anxiety to fly after this trip. The flight home was comfortable and every flight after that has been smooth sailing. Even the next year when I went back to Peru. “My Peru Trip 2010”

If you want to reply to my post on facebook please do. I’d love to talk about this trip some more if you have questions. Subscribe to my blog if you haven’t, sometimes I forget to post the link to my facebook. Thank you again for reading and till next time.